It didn’t seem like a good idea to be have our talk outside, so I returned to the Moon Echo lobby with Kaya in tow. From behind the counter, Kurokawa-san had a confused “What happened?” for me, but she seemed to understand what was going on when she spotted Kaya behind me.
The lobby was usually most crowded with people waiting for a room or to pay for a rental at half-past or the top of the hour; it was mostly empty now, so we took an empty couch.
“So, um… let’s see, where should I start… I guess, well, I should also apologize for what happened yesterday.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I chose to bow my head in apology. However, Kaya interrupted me, seeming unhappy about something.
“No, no, you weren’t the one who lied, Mus– Murase-san. If anything, you were another victim, just like me, so you don’t need to apologize. Besides, I didn’t come here for that.”
“I… see…”
What she said was right, but still; I couldn’t help but feel intimidated when I thought back on yesterday and how overbearing she had been.
“Really, the fault mostly lies with President Tamamura for how optimistically he sold this opportunity to me, though I do respect that attitude of his since it was how he took his company this far. That being said, I do not want to rely on him too much either, as I want to prove my skills to PNO, and as long as I am able to accomplish that, I can look past that mistake this time.”
She came off like benevolent goddess looking down from the heavens, but that confidence of hers that blew way past arrogance was actually quite refreshing. Still, I had to admit she did have the skills to back it up.
“Yes, of course, and you did prove how amazing you were with the bass yesterday, Shigasaki-san, but…”
“Hold it.”
Kaya sharply, suddenly interrupted me.
“Please don’t call me by my family name.”
Her stare was so intense I felt she was about to leap at me to tear off my ears.
“You can just call me Kaya. That’s what everyone does.”
Huh, now that she mentioned it, President Tamamura and Kakizaki-san were also on first name basis with her. Maybe she hated going by her family name or something? It wasn’t my business anyway, so I did as she asked.
“Erm, Kaya-san then. So as I was saying, you did prove to us how amazing you were at the bass, but, see, we already have a bassist. Or rather, I’m already the bassist.”
It felt a little embarrassing to say it outright, but after all that had happened before with Kyouko-san, I’d learned it was better for me to not act so reserved. Now, I faced Kaya head on and continued speaking.
“I’ll admit I’m worse at the bass than you are, but that doesn’t mean I would just quit over it.”
“What are you talking about? This would all be pointless if you quit, Murase-senpai!”
I felt my eyes widen in surprise again, this time from an unexpected attack.
“…Why are you calling me ‘senpai’?”
“Um, oops..?”
Kaya blushed and leaned back into her seat in embarrassment.
“I’m sorry… I just got a little excited because I’m planning on taking the entrance exam for the high school you all attend.”
Wow, the same school as us? She wanted to follow us that badly?
“It makes me happy to know you’re that much of our fan, but, that doesn’t change the fact that we don’t need two people playing the bass.”
“But Murase-senpai, your specialty isn’t the bass, right? And you’re clearly not the one playing the bass in your recordings. Anyone can tell that much just by comparing your uploads to the live recordings.”
“You’re… not wrong…”
She could tell? That was pretty impressive, and she was right: in the recordings we uploaded, Akane, who played better than me, was on the bass.
“But you, Murase-senpai, you can play the guitar, you can play the keyboard, and you can even sing the vocals. You don’t have to only play the bass, right? Like, haven’t you ever felt like playing the guitar for a live show? If a specialist like me joins, that frees you up to be a side guitar or another instrument, like a percussion. There are even songs that need a harmonica player! What I’m trying to say is, there would be so many more songs you would be able to play, if I were to join.”
“Hm… Well, I do see what you’re getting at…”
Although she had briefly touched a number of topics, they were all ideas I found agreeable.
See, right now, we had Rinko who, excellent pianist that she was, skillfully made up for any shortcomings we had in sound range, though there were times I wished we could have another person on the guitar for times like when Akane was doing a guitar solo, or when having both an acoustic and electric guitar playing together would work well. If we took on Kaya as a bassist, I would have a more flexible role, one where I filled in anything we lacked — in other words, our stage performances would become that much richer and more colorful.
“Furthermore, my voice can cover upper harmonics.”
“Guh…”
That was a really important point, actually. As a guy, I couldn’t sing at a higher pitch than Akane, so I only ever covered lower harmonics. If we had another vocalist that could cover upper harmonics, our chorus would also improve quite a lot.
I was really in a bind now; I couldn’t think of a reason why I shouldn’t let Kaya join.
As I was second-guessing myself, Kaya pressed on, this time leaning forward while placing her hands on the table between us.
“And I’m sure my looks aren’t any worse than the other girls in the band, Murase-senpai. I’m confident I make that cut, too.”
“You… wait, hold on, what? I don’t remember ever choosing members based on how they look.”
“Huh? No way! You brought those girls together without considering their looks? That’s impossible!”
…Why did she get angry all of a sudden?
“What about auditioning then? You didn’t judge people based on their appearance?”
“We’ve never held any auditions to begin with.”
“No way! You brought those girls together without holding any auditions? That’s impossible!”
She didn’t have to be that loud about it; the staff was now staring at us out of curiosity.
“It was more just luck that we all met, or, I guess I should say we hadn’t even thought about forming a band back then. It’s just that I happened to meet the three of them through different circumstances, and then somewhere down the line, we all decided to start a band together.”
Kaya forced herself to take a deep breath.
“In other words, there’s something about you, Murase-senpai, that attracts people.”
“I don’t think it’s anything like –“
“And so here I am, the fourth person you’ve attracted.”
This girl seriously puts out her confidence as casually as someone breathing. It really was quite refreshing, and even just basking in it felt good.
“And that means I’m part of the band now, right?”
Despite the nonsensical progression of our conversation, Kaya was somehow cutting off my escape routes.
No, actually, let’s be honest here: I didn’t need to find a way out. It wasn’t even a matter of why or why not anymore because at some point, I had already decided Kaya should be in the band.
“…I can’t just decide that on my own.”
Wait, saying it like that would tell her she had my approval to join. Well, I guess she did, and it wasn’t like it would be a problem for her to know that much.
But Kaya just tilted her head in confusion.
“Aren’t you the leader of PNO, Murase-senpai? If you give the OK, shouldn’t that be good enough?”
“We never really determined who should be the leader, actually.”
“Whaaa..? But, aren’t you the one who gathered everyone together, wrote all the songs, and put together each videos? Doesn’t that make you the leader?”
…Was it just me, or has there been a lot of pressure on me with all this leader stuff lately? Was it really that big of a deal for there to be a leader?
“Uh, I guess? But anyway, I gotta talk to the others about you joining. They were here earlier; if you had found us like thirty minutes ago, we could have talked about it together.”
“Oh, that’s what happened…” Kaya muttered, looking demotivated for some reason, “So it would have been better if I had been here earlier…”
All of a sudden, Kurokawa-san, who had come over without either of us noticing, spoke up.
“But you’ve been hanging around the lobby for the past hour.”
Kaya immediately snapped upright in panic; Kurokawa-san shrugged before continuing.
“If you asked me, I’d say you were just waiting for the girls to leave, to catch Mako alone.”
Wait, what? That would mean Kaya’s plan had been to catch me on my own because it seemed like she’d have an easier time negotiating if I were alone, right? That was kind of mean of you, Kurokawa-san, outing Kaya like that… Not that it really bothered me either way.
“That’s… um… I mean, I…”
Kaya, her face flushing a bright red, quickly got to her feet.
“Um, well, anyway, please give my regards to the other members!”
She moved quickly, as though trying to escape, but I couldn’t let her go yet. I got to my feet and followed after her, calling out just as we approached the automatic doors of the entrance.
“Hey, hold on! You haven’t given me a way of contacting you! You use LINE, right?”
Kaya jumped in surprise but nonetheless came to a stop; she slowly turned to face me, and I saw her face was still the same bright red.
“LINE? Like, you want my contact info? Mine? Are you sure?”
“What do you mean, ‘am I sure’? Of course I need it. It would be a problem if we couldn’t get in contact otherwise,” I answered as I took my phone out of my pocket.
“Ah… I mean, yeah, right, of course…”
Kaya frantically took out her own phone, and we exchanged our LINE IDs. For some reason though, Kaya stared at her screen for a moment before giving a warm smile. Was there something funny with my profile picture?
“I’ll, um, see you next time then.”
Kaya gave an energetic bow that caused stray tufts of her hair to bounce about, and after a moment, she turned on her heels and ran through the door and out into the main street.
*
“If you want to bring her in, Murase-kun, I don’t have a problem with it.”
Rinko said, sounding curt and sullen.
“If that is what you have decided, Makoto-san, I am ready to bear the burden.”
Shizuki had a look of tragic resolve as she answered and nodded.
“I don’t see anything wrong with that, Makoto-chan.”
Akane sounded uninterested.
It was lunch break of the next day now; I had just told the girls about Kaya, and I couldn’t help but timidly watch their expressions as I listened to their opinions.
“…Did I do something wrong?”
“It’s not that you did anything wrong,” Rinko replied, “It’s more that by now, I’m rather used to your habit of picking up new girls out of nowhere.”
“This would be your third time now, wouldn’t it, Rinko-san? I only experienced this with Akane-san, so I wasn’t sure how to prepare myself for it.”
“What the, it’s gonna be like this every time? It’s the first time I’ve ever felt this, but… Oh, it does kinda remind me of when Makoto-chan brought me in… You sure are good at picking up girls, aren’t you, Makoto-chan?”
“Okay, wait! Hold on a minute!”
I found myself raising my voice by reflex.
“There are a bunch of things I want to say, but let me just say, for the record, that I wasn’t the one who first approached any of you, okay? Like we all just happened to meet by chance! And honestly, it was more like each of you approached me first, wasn’t it?”
“Really? I seem to remember a certain someone forcing himself onto me, saying, ‘I wrote this song just for you, and I need you to play it for me’.”
“Yeah! I remember a certain someone chasing me on the riverbank at dusk, saying, “Your voice is what I need most’.”
“And I remember how he stole me away from a marriage interview! ‘You don’t need to listen to your parents or go through this arranged marriage!’ he told me!”
“Hey, don’t just go changing those memories like that! Especially you, Shizuki! That story is one hundred percent untrue!”
“But it is true that you actively scouting a girl this time, Murase-kun.”
That has nothing to do with changing what happened in a memory.
“Okay, well, I’m not actively scouting her, I’m just.. I mean, she’s the one who wants to join, so… No, wait, that part doesn’t actually matter anymore.”
“Just so you know, Murase-kun, none of us have a problem with her joining, so what is the issue? Why are you still making a fuss about it?”
Because you guys were adding unnecessary information! — or so I wanted to yell back, but instead I kept my mouth shut. Doing otherwise would have made this discussion last five times longer than it needed to.
And, well, yeah, I guess there really wasn’t any problem. At this point, I could even just send a message to Kaya, telling her something like ‘Congrats and welcome to our orchestra!’ but… why did it feel like something was off?
“To be honest, I actually wasn’t in favor of this,” Akane said, making an unusually serious face, “and if you hadn’t mentioned it, Makoto-chan, I wouldn’t have even reconsidered it.”
“We were doing fine with just the four of us, so I’m a little scared of how things might change,” Shizuki added, “especially since any change to the rhythm section affects me the most.”
“Huh? But didn’t the two of you play perfectly in sync during that session the other day?”
“It was perfect, but it’s like I’m part of something even bigger when I play together with you, Makoto-san!”
And how was I supposed to respond to that kind of vague, spiritual feeling, huh?
“We only have two months left before our Christmas live, right? It is unthinkable for a band to change up their roster with that little time, but I suppose that won’t stop you from playing around with a new one will it, Murase-kun?”
“A new… You’re still talking about music, right? So why’d you have to say it all weird like that? Look, Shizuki’s all mad no– wait, no, Akane, help me out here!”
For some reason, it felt like we had been talking in circles this entire time; it should have just been a simple discussion about getting everyone on board with Kaya joining the band, so why did it feel like things had gotten complicated?
That was when Rinko spoke up, sounding like she understood what I was feeling.
“I think the problem right now isn’t about us, Murase-kun, but with you.”
“…What?”
“This is what I think: you were expecting us – either myself, Shizuki, or Akane – to be against the idea. Then, seeing as there was at least one disagreement, you would feel like the decision was made for you and that you have no choice but to reject her. But since none of us are against the idea, that puts the final decision in your hands alone — that is, something you weren’t expecting to have to handle.”
I felt myself stiffening and gaping in amazement.
I couldn’t refute any of what she said.
It was Shizuki who spoke up, expressing her admiration to Rinko.
“That was incredible, Rinko-san, how perfectly you understand Makoto-san! It makes me quite jealous, actually.”
“That’s because I’ve been seeing Murase-kun for a very long time.”
“Whoa, Rin-chan, you can’t say it like that! You’re supposed to say you’ve been watching him for a long time, not seeing him!”
“Seeing as you picked up on that, I would say you understand me just as well, Akane.”
“Hehe, I guess you can say I’ve been seeing you for a long time too, Rin-chan.”
While they continued joking, Shizuki peered at my face, looking concerned.
“Makoto-san looks like he’s still recovering from the shock… He should have made at least three comebacks by now under normal circumstances…”
“That’s… I dunno. Think of something for me.”
I shambled over to and collapsed onto a stool by the window of the music room, leaning back into the frame.
Rinko was completely right: if any of the girls had been opposed to letting Kaya join, I would have went along with it and rejected Kaya, and that would have been the end of it. We would have returned to our usual daily lives without something new to worry about… Yeah, I guess this whole thing really did have me worried; it was exciting to hear Kaya’s performance, but bringing her into the band… That part had me uneasy. It felt like the moment she joined us, we would be losing something important…
“Let’s do it then. We can think more about it later, if it doesn’t work out.”
Rinko caught me off-guard, and she nonchalantly took out her phone and began tapping on its screen.
“We already came to a decision, so hurry up and let her know. You have her LINE, right? Invite her to the group chat already.”
“Oh, right…”
Kaya replied immediately when I messaged her; she must have been on her lunch break as well. A few minutes later, we confirmed she had joined the group chat.
“Right, so we’ll have her come to studio practice tomorrow,” Rinko said, typing out a message.
“She might be still be a middle schooler, but I’m not gonna go easy on her! I’m gonna work her real hard!”
“It’s up to us to teach her what happens if she dares lay her hands on Makoto-san.”
“You sound like one of those overbearing senior coworkers right now, Shizu-chan…”
“Perfect! Leave everything to me! I’ll take care of our inner palace, just like Lady Kasuga!”
“Becoming our official bassist means she will have to handle the bass arrangement herself. Murase-kun, please upload the new song’s demo tape to the group chat again — not the tentative one from the other day, but the first one, the one with just guitar and vocals. She isn’t good enough to join us if she can’t at least write her arrangements herself.”
“Okay, wait, and you’re expecting her to have it done by tomorrow?” I asked increduously.
“Isn’t it obvious? Like Akane said, we won’t be going easy on her.”
Were they just planning to haze our newcomer..? For some reason, it felt like a stormy future awaited our soon-to-be five-member band.
*
“So once again, I’m looking forward to playing together with everyone!”
It was now the evening of the next day, in Moon Echo’s studio B6. Kaya had been the first to arrive, and she had brought us into this room, where she started by greeting us with an energetic bow of her head.
“And again, thank you for allowing me to join PNO. For now, I have already setup the microphone, and I have prepared refreshments for everyone; as I recall, Akane-senpai likes honey tea, while Rinko-senpai always drinks Gerolsteiner, and for Shizuki-senpai, I have both an unsweetened and a lightly-sweetened tea.”
The three of them remained standing in dumbfounded silence.
“How did you, uh, know what they usually drink?” I timidly asked.
“Oh, well, you know, I just watched PNO’s videos a bunch of times, and then I did some researching through Kakizaki-san.”
It was a little scary how much she had prepared… not that I was part of it. All I got was a small bottle of water; what’s with the inequality? Well, I mean, not that I wasn’t grateful about it…
“So… why is she calling us senpai?” Rinko whispered to me, wearing a complicated expression.
“Uh, apparently she’s planning on taking our high school’s entrance exam.”
Kaya overheard our whispering, and she boldly cotinued speaking.
“Starting next year, I will also be attending your high school, as one of your underclassmen. I hope you will look after me then as well!”
Her words took the girls aback, seeing how different Kaya was acting now compared to our first meeting.
And then Akane was the first to fall under Kaya’s underclassman charm.
“I brought a jazz bass and a Sadowsky five-string today, Akane-senpai. If it isn’t too much trouble, could you tell me what you think of how my phrasing sounds?”
“I’m… the senpai now…” Akane murmured, sounding moved, and then she suddenly took Kaya’s hands in hers. “That settles it, Kaya-chan! As long as you keep calling me senpai, you can ask me for anything! I’ve worked on more bass arrangements than Makoto-chan, so if you’re not sure about how something sounds, I’m more than happy to play it for you!”
Uh, what happened to the whole ‘not going easy on her’ thing? But when I looked over at Akane, her stern expression was already happily melting away like warm mochi. Oh, I get it: she had missed most of her middle school years, so she had never experienced the admiration of underclassmen before.
The next to fall was Shizuki.
“Shizuki-senpai, is it all right for me to stand here? For a jazz musician such as yourself, you must be more comfortable with the bass player to your right.”
“Huh? Oh, y-yes, feel free to stand there.”
“See, I wanted to attune myself to how your drumming has no wasted movements, Shizuki-senpai. And for that, I believe we should be positioned close enough to feel each other’s body heat.”
Shizuki’s face flushed red with color.
“R-right, of course! As close as possible! I can help with that!”
So much for wanting to be the strict senior coworker…
Surely Rinko would stand firm… or so I believed, until…
“Rinko-senpai, I noticed your left hand always follows the bass with perfect timing during a performance, even though a lot of it is improv. How are you able to do it so well?”
“It isn’t difficult. I simply know all there is to know about Murase-kun; so all I have to do is think about him, and I can more or less predict the phrase he will play next.”
“I see, I see. So that means I will have to do my best to become Mus– Murase-senpai!”
“And do you understand what it means to become Murase-kun, with respect to me?”
“Of course. I am ready for any and all abuse you have for me!”
“Very good. I’m glad you understand.” Um, excuse me? Shouldn’t you be correcting her? “Though of course, I wouldn’t treat a young girl that way, especially one so quick on the uptake as you. I will be looking forward to working together.”
What about me? Couldn’t you be considerate like that to a certain boy of the same age?
Then, when they began playing, Kaya was even more in sync with Rinko than I was, as though it was completely natural. As for me, now that I was free from playing the bass, I could focus an undivided attention on their performance, and I found myself more impressed than ever from how easily Rinko adapted to the new change.
*
Our meeting at McDonalds after studio practice was more lively and cheerful than ever.
“No way, Kaya-chan! You’re a model, aren’t you? Why’re you getting your cosmetics at Matsumoto Kiyoshi?”
“I think its more important to consider how it works with your skin than to look at its price. In fact, there are many good options to choose from that are also not very expensive.”
“Oh I use KATE too! Their lipstick lasts a very long time.”
“I have brushes I’ve bought from 100-yen shops that work better than some Shiseido-branded ones.”
“Did you get your set from Daiso, Rinko-senpai? It’s so cute.”
And there I was, sipping an iced coffee with melting ice quickly diluting its flavor. All I had was myself as the cold wind of loneliness blew on by. How had things come to this?
This wasn’t the kind of talk we normally had in these meetings; usually we would go over what happened during practice or talk about a new album we found — music stuff, basically. Today though, the topic… was on cosmetics? Was it because practice had gone so well that there was nothing to talk about? Or maybe it was because our newest member was a model and actress, so the girls were curious about her choice in beauty products and skincare? Both made sense, but really, the actual reason had to be because we were now a group of five.
See, as a group of four, we could all fit together around one table. As a group of five, however, that meant I sat alone at an adjacent table, leaving the girls to group up, establish a kingdom, and keep to a dimension of their own. And this spelled trouble for me; if this kept up, the girls will have completely forgotten about me by next week, and they probably wouldn’t even notice if I missed studio practice…
But, as though she had noticed how awkward I was all alone, Shizuki called out to me.
“Oh, what about you, Makoto-san? What brand of cosmetics do you use?”
“I don’t know anything about that!”
You don’t have to include me in your conversation, okay?
“Murase-kun has no interest in this conversation, nor does he follow any sort of routine. How is it that his skin is perfect and flawless? It really isn’t fair.”
“Yeah! I can’t believe it either! Like what’s going on with his pores?”
“And what would happen if Makoto-san took his skincare seriously? It’s possible our channel is taken down on account of him being too beautiful…”
“Well, um, maybe we should have Murase-senpai eat more fermented foods, or things with more fiber? You know, to supplement the female hormones.”
“You don’t have to play along with every gag, Kaya! That’s not why I wanted you to join!”
The teasing was already hopeless with three of them, but with four now, I was definitely doomed.
“Look, we should be talking about the band right now. That was our first practice with five, so we should go over that, right? Like, shouldn’t we be going over what went well, where we could improve on, things like that?”
“You say that, but…”
“Everything went perfectly well.”
“There isn’t really anything to point out.”
Hearing this complete turnaround in enthusiasm after switching topics from cosmetics to the band sent chills running down my spine.
“I believe I performed well over everyone’s expectations. See, our first session together was much worse because we were more like feeling each other out. But this second session today, having become familiar with everyone, was completely different, and I was able to give 200%!”
Kaya’s honest, genuine evaluation was like a beacon of hope. That being said though, how did this girl balance being confident and humble at the same time? I really wanted to know how that mind of hers worked.
“So moving along, Murase-senpai, does this mean I am now officially part of the band?”
“Huh..? I mean, well… Um…”
The way she asked made it seem like everything up until now had been a trial. Wait, was that actually what happened then? I looked over Rinko’s, then Shizuki’s, and then Akane’s faces; judging by their expressions, it seemed Kaya was fitting in well. They should be convinced by now to let Kaya join, right?
“…Everyone’s okay with Kaya joining?”
“That’s for you to decide, Murase-kun.”
“If you decide it’s fine, Makoto-san, then it’s fine.”
“We’re leaving the final decision in your hands, mister leader!”
Why were they leaving it to me? I mean, sure, I was the one who wanted Kaya to join, but it was weird that they would just leave the final decision to me anyway. If anything, it felt like they were just catering to my whim.
But… was that really it? I was already aware of how selfish I was being by wanting Kaya to join, but at the same time, I felt some sort of strange unease despite seeing how perfectly Kaya fit in with us.
“So what will it be, Murase-senpai?”
Kaya turned to lean toward me, bringing her face close. I instinctively looked away.
“Well, um… I, uh, at least for me, I’m okay with you joining, but…”
But…
I wanted to put this whole thing on hold. And I could do that by adding conditions — I could delay this whole thing.
“I was just thinking that, while it would be great to have you join the band, wouldn’t that make you even busier? I mean, you take on modeling jobs and do acting stuff, right?”
When I brought that up out of curiosity, the color seemed to drain from Kaya’s face.
“Modeling is… just a side thing I’m doing, to save money for an instrument. I’ll continue it for a little longer, but I am planning to eventually quit. But I definitely won’t be doing anything with acting from now on.”
I gently set my drink cup on the tray, taking care to keep quiet. Had I touched a sore spot by mistake? But Kaya just stared absentmindedly at the empty carton of fries as she continued in almost a whisper.
“The thing is, no matter what I do, people are always complaining about how it was all thanks to my parents’ connections. Like my role in that movie last year — it was supposed to go to another girl, but they pushed the role to me instead.”
We couldn’t do anything but listen as Kaya began talking about a world none of us knew anything about.
“And since there were celebrities also attending my school, all kinds of rumors would start spreading. Can you even imagine how much harassment I had to put up with? It was unbelievable. They would do things like glue my lunchbox closed, and it kept happening through all of middle school! I refuse to go through another three years of that, which is why I’m applying to your school.”
“Have you… already talked with your parents about all of this?”
Unsurprisingly, it was Shizuki who was curious enough to carefully ask, but Kaya shook her head in response.
“I’m doing this all on my own. Besides, by taking an entrance exam elsewhere, I’m no longer allowed to continue the next year at my current school, and my parents can’t do anything but accept my decision.”
Was that really okay? Then again, it wasn’t like I could do anything about it since it was problem within her family.
“So, uh, does that mean you haven’t told them about how you’re playing the bass or like how you’re joining the band?”
Akane gave Kaya a worried look.
“About the bass, well, it’s pretty obvious, so they know about that. I haven’t told them anything about the band though; they probably wouldn’t approve of me being a band.”
Okay so, why, exactly, does our band have this kind of luck with picking up members with family problems for baggage?
“Really? Then what about your father? Did you start playing music because you wanted to follow in his footsteps? You do sing quite well; was that something he taught you?”
“My father has nothing to do with it!”
Her sudden outburst came out loud enough to attract stares from other tables.
“I’ve never listened to my father’s music before, nor do I want to. He’s only sung the same kinds of kayoukyoku songs since the Showa era, anyway. I plan to play only my own music, with my own skills.”
The force behind her outburst shook the little bit of water that remained in my paper cup..
I could only swallow back the bitter saliva that had pooled, but when I looked at Kaya’s face, I could make out a hint of tears in her eyes.
Incidentally, Kaya had also gotten angry back when I called her by her family name. Was this why that had happened?
I wasn’t sure what to say to her, so instead, I shot a pleading glance at Rinko, who had similar circumstances. I wasn’t sure if she knew what I was asking, but she did acknowledge me before speaking.
“Well, this isn’t a job interview, nor do we need your parents’ permission. We’re just here to play music together, and your circumstances have nothing to do with that. If a problem does come up later, like when we commercialize, we can just discuss it then.”
I was grateful for Rinko’s pragmatism at times like these, but that didn’t make it any less terrifying.
“Yep, that’s how it is, Kaya-chan. Either way, I’m glad you chose to play the bass, ’cause if you ended up doing something like enka instead, we’d never have met!”
I was just as thankful for Akane’s straightforward honesty; both girls’ words seemed to register in Kaya, and she let out a weak sigh as she relaxed her tensed shoulders.
“…I’m sorry for raising my voice like that.”
Shizuki sounded deliberately cheerful as she changed the subject, most likely trying to disperse the now-awkward atmosphere.
“So why did you choose to play the bass then? It’s unusual for people to start with it, and what usually happens is people start playing it in a band because that is the role they’re given.”
Kaya turned to stare at Shizuki, her eyes blinking rapidly.
“That’s because …”
She retrieved her smartphone from within her instrument case and placed it on the table.
“…Back when I was busy filming the movie, I had people giving me dirty looks all the time, even when I went to school, and it was exhausting having to deal with that every day. At some point, I started wondering if I’d be better off dead, but… well, that’s when I found a certain video on the Internet.”
On her phone was the channel page of Paradise Noise Orchestra. The button below the channel name was already greyed out and read ‘Subscribed’, while under that were rows of video thumbnails showing Rinko, Shizuki, and Akane in their uniforms.
Kaya gently scooped up her phone in both hands, picking it up as though she were handling a fragile egg.
“There was a girl that looked like she was my age — she played such incredible music. I was so amazed, so mesmerized the first time I saw her, and it felt like none of the things I was worrying about actually mattered. And then, I felt… I wished I could be with that girl on that same stage.”
As she reminisced, tears began to form around her eyes — tears of a different color.
“So I thought about it. I thought long and hard about what I had to do to be with that girl. And my answer was this.”
Kaya gently pulled her black case closer, and she pressed her forehead against it.
“And that’s why. It’s what I wanted for so long, and right now, I am just so happy.”
*
In my room later that night, I looked through each and every one of our band’s videos.
I had the videos muted, but it still felt as though the girls could leap free of the screen to stab me through the ribs with their sound; Shizuki’s drumsticks drew lines over the cymbals like the fluttering petals of a blossoming flower against the shine of moon, Rinko’s hair flowed like the rustling of trees in a dark forest under the night wind as she played another furious passage on the keyboard, and Akane’s pick flew like a flock of white birds between her fingers as she began the exciting solo.
This was the place Kaya had longed for.
And since there had never seemed to be one, it wasn’t impossible for people to have assumed the band was missing a bassist — and they were half-right.
In other words, Kaya must have started learning the bass after discovering PNO, meaning her history with the instrument was incredibly short… and yet, how was it she could play as well as she does? Could it be she was better than everyone else, that she had the greatest potential among the band?
I placed my phone back at my bedside and rolled over.
If Kaya were to join, PNO would grow even bigger; she was so skilled a bassist that we shouldn’t be hoping for more. The weight of her circumstances, however… It was like I had taken on a new responsibility, one of protecting this place where she belonged. Was that why I felt the way I did, that I was so uneasy despite how perfect the session with her had gone?
No, no, what was I thinking? There was nothing for me to take responsibility for; I was just imagining it. And besides, we were just band members; like Rinko said, we just played music together. We weren’t obligated to do more than that for each other.
A stray thought suddenly came to mind.
President Tamamura… I was obligated to update him about us recruiting Kaya, right?
We met Kaya through him… but I wasn’t comfortable with how it had happened nor with where he might take the news going forward. Still, it would be rude to not let him know she was now part of the band…
I tried imagining what would happen when I told President Tamamura the news.
One thing led to another, and we decided to welcome Kaya-san into PNO. Thank you very much for introducing such a wonderful person to us.
Oh, so you did, did you? What great news! I’m so pleased to hear! She truly was a perfect fit for Puno, wasn’t she? I knew you kids would be happier having her!
…Yep, like that — he would definitely say something like that. He would totally ignore how much trouble he’d cause leading up to this point, and he’d smugly wear his smile of good intentions, like he’d done a good deed. I got the chills just thinking about it.
But I mean…
…I still had to tell him the news and thank him for it.
With that in mind, I grabbed my smartphone and called Kakizaki-san’s number.
*
In the evening three days later, I returned Naked Egg’s office in Aoyama, this time alone.
Kakizaki-san had been extremely apologetic over the phone, and he had insisted on having the president come by to apologize and thank us in person. I wasn’t about to let that happen, since I wouldn’t be able to just wrap up his visit and send him away.
As I arrived at the entrance of the office building, I spotted a large man walking over from the other side of the crosswalk — President Tamamura. Today he was wearing a gaudy fur coat that fit him so well it seemed a little disturbing.
“Why, if it isn’t Murase-san, and so early! Thank you for coming! It was fortunate that I happened to be returning around this time — wouldn’t have wanted to keep you waiting!”
As we entered the building and took the elevator up, he began describing his vision for ‘Puno’, bringing up drama theme songs, music station appearances, and even the Kouhaku Uta Gassen. It was all a bit much, and I began hoping he would just give it a rest; I was really regretting not just telling him the news over the phone…
We finally arrived at Naked Egg’s floor, and President Tamamura’s tongue seemed to wag even faster as he guided me past stacks of material to a conference room in the back.
“Haha, and, well, I suppose this time I must have caused a bit of trouble with being a little pushy with Kaya-chan, but that’s just part of how valuable a girl of her talents would be with you kids! And you know, it all worked out in the end, so it was all worth the trouble wasn’t it?”
Was he really in a position to be casually dismissing the problems he himself had caused in the first place..?
“And besides, this is the daughter of Shigasaki Kyouhei and Mayuzumi Ranko we’re talking about. You know about them, of course? Kaya-chan is the spitting image of her mother when she was younger! When Kyouhei-ontai wanted me to give his daughter a chance, I wondered if he was just being a doting parent, but after hearing her play for the first time, so many things hit me, in many ways!”
I stopped as President Tamamura’s words registered in my head, and all I could do was stare at the back of his head.
President Tamamura noticed I had stopped, and he turned to give me a confused look.
“Is something the matter?”
“Are you saying Kaya’s father… that Shigasaki Kyouhei asked you… Could you explain that again?”
President Tamamura scratched his face as he gave an awkward smile.
“About Kyouhei-ontai, you mean? Ah, well you see, he found out his daughter was very interested in Puno, so he did all that he could to give her an opportunity. That eventually brought him to me, and I’m sure you know the rest from there.”
“Huh..? But you said… didn’t you tell her there was an audition?”
“Ahahaha! I’m sure you understand, Murase-san, but see, I needed an excuse to listen to Kaya-chan play. I couldn’t very well tell the girl her own father used his connections to help her, you know!”
I froze in shock. I could feel my mouth hanging open.
A loud crash jolted me out of stillness; something must have fallen over up ahead. Startled, I looked over just in time to see a figure rush out the open door of the conference room and move right past us. They dodged around the steel racks and cardboard boxes in the way as they went straight through the front door of the office.
In that short moment, I caught a glimpse of their outfit – a uniform – and their hair tied in familiar twintails.
That must have been Kaya. But how? Why was she here? Had she overheard President Tamamura just now? How much did she hear?
I heard more footsteps; someone was coming over, moving around clusters of cubicles to get to us.
“Oh, Murase-san.”
It was Kakizaki-san. He was holding a bottle of tea and a paper cup.
“Kaya-san is already waiting up ahead in the conference room, so…”
Kakizaki-san must have sensed something off from my expression, because he motioned with his eyes toward President Tamamura as he started speaking to me in a low voice.
“D-did something happen? I received a call from Kaya-san yesterday, and she asked to meet with President Tamamura and… huh? Weren’t you a part of that, Murase-san?”
All I could do was hold my head in my hands and sigh as I looked toward the open door.
When I checked my phone after getting home later that night, I found Kaya had left the band’s LINE group.
I buried my face into my pillow and forced my eyes shut.
Headcanon TL 
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